The main goal of meditation is to develop mindfulness, which essentially means being aware of and observing our experiences. To do this, we need to be present and somewhat detached from what we are observing. Mindfulness is quite simple, but it can lead to profound benefits like self-acceptance, self-compassion, and appreciating the miracle of every moment in life.
We usually start by focusing on our body, noticing the physical sensations that arise. We’re not thinking about the body or visualizing it; we’re just paying relaxed attention to its sensations. Breathing is especially important because it’s the most noticeable part of our bodily experience. We can feel air flowing in and out, the rise and fall of our chest and belly, and even the contact between our skin and clothing. However, other sensations like the sound of a truck passing, a breeze, or the feeling of our seat are also part of this awareness, and it’s okay to notice them.
Our mind will still generate thoughts, and sometimes these thoughts will pull our attention away from our sensory experience back into our mental world. We might find ourselves planning tasks, replaying conversations, or worrying about our meditation technique. This is natural and unavoidable. Whenever we notice that we’ve been distracted, we gently return our focus to our body and breathing.
New meditators often feel frustrated by how much their mind wanders. It’s important to accept that distraction is normal and to treat ourselves with compassion when it happens. Getting distracted isn’t failing; it’s just being human. Each time we notice our distraction, it’s an opportunity to be kind to ourselves and gently bring our focus back to our breathing. I often tell meditation students to think of it like gently returning a lost kitten to its mother. Distractions are opportunities to practice self-compassion.
Practicing self-kindness also includes how we sit during meditation. Holding our body tensely or forcing ourselves into an uncomfortable posture can be unkind. Many people want to sit cross-legged even if their bodies aren’t flexible enough for it. There’s no need to impress anyone, and there’s no perfect posture. Comfort is key. Avoid slumping as it compresses the chest and makes breathing and staying attentive harder. Instead, find a posture that is both relaxed and upright, embodying a sense of dignity.
Lying down can also hinder mindfulness because it often makes us drowsy or even leads us to fall asleep. If you must lie down due to an injury, you’ll have to work with any resultant sleepiness.
Mindfulness helps us appreciate the simple miracle of being alive. It allows us to become a kind and compassionate presence to ourselves, not just during meditation but in all areas of our lives.