When we start learning to meditate, we quickly realize our minds tend to wander way more than we expected. We might notice that after just two or three breaths, our thoughts drift off, exploring memories, daydreams, and future plans.
Initially, this can be frustrating. We get annoyed at ourselves for being so easily distracted and might blame ourselves, thinking we’re not good at meditation or worse at it than others. It feels like hard work.
But soon we learn that this level of distraction is completely normal. Research indicates that during activities requiring little attention (like showering, waiting, or driving a familiar route), our minds can wander up to 80% of the time. Meditation falls into this category as there isn’t an engaging external task.
This distraction isn’t a personal flaw; it’s just how our nervous system has evolved. Our minds crave input, and in the absence of external stimuli, our minds create their own through memories and fantasies.
As we meditate more, we become patient, letting go of distracted thoughts without reacting negatively. Distracted thoughts become neutral, losing their emotional charge.
However, we sometimes still carry a feeling that our minds aren’t “good enough” due to their tendency to wander. We don’t consciously decide to get lost in thoughts; it just happens outside our control. This can be uncomfortable, like having a mind that acts on its own.
But here’s a comforting thought: every time your mind strays, it eventually returns to mindfulness on its own. You don’t forcibly bring it back; it simply happens. One moment, you’re lost in daydreams, and the next, you’re back in the present, aware of your surroundings and free to choose your focus and actions.
This automatic return to mindfulness is encouraging. Instead of focusing on the mind’s wandering as a failure, we can see its return as a natural success. The mind is like a cat that likes to roam but also likes to come home. How do you welcome it back? Instead of getting annoyed or treating it as a neutral event, try greeting it warmly.
Welcoming your attention back with kindness might make it more inclined to stay. When your attention returns from distraction, appreciate it. Let it feel valued and cherished. Perhaps this approach could make your meditation feel less like hard work and more like an act of love.