The core teaching of Buddhism is that everything changes. This idea might seem obvious since many philosophers and religious leaders have noted it over the years. However, the Buddha didn’t just acknowledge change; he explored all its implications. He believed that our suffering stems from resisting change. He described this resistance as clinging—a strong desire to hold onto stability in a constantly changing world.
Clinging often shows up as expectations. We want things to happen in a certain way, and we suffer when they don’t. For instance, we feel immense pain when love is unreturned or when life doesn’t meet our expectations. Even smaller frustrations, like traffic moving slowly, are tied to our unmet expectations.
One lesson from the idea of impermanence is that everything changes in connection to other changing things. Traffic flow, for example, depends on the weather, road conditions, the number of cars, and even the drivers’ moods. Life is complex and mostly out of our control.
To find more happiness, we can start by recognizing our expectations and letting go of them. For example, I used to get frustrated when my young children took longer than expected to get ready. This led to annoyance and sometimes yelling. Now, I notice my expectations and try to let go. Taking a deep breath and accepting that I can’t control everything helps me stay calm.
We can also let go of other expectations, like not aging or getting sick, the weather always being perfect, or our belongings never breaking.
While change may seem like a problem we need to manage, it’s also a blessing. We can change. Our habits, even those that cause suffering, can be unlearned, and we can develop new, better habits. We can become wiser, kinder, and more patient. Nothing about us is so fixed that it can’t be changed.
The Buddha’s teachings focused on how our minds can change progressively to achieve greater happiness and freedom, leading to a state called Awakening or nirvana.
In summary, when we resist change, it feels like a curse. When we accept it, it becomes a fact of life. And when we embrace it, change turns into a blessing.