Recently, I searched Google for “Buddha quotes on friendship” and was surprised to find the top result was misleading. The quotes were either misattributed to the Buddha or completely fabricated to sound like Hallmark sentiments, presented as genuine Buddhist scripture.
I won’t link to the site, but here’s a sample of the made-up quotes shown by Google. It’s shocking that none of these quotes, nor the other five on the site, are from the Buddha. They’re all fake, likely created to make money through advertising, though the author might also take pleasure in deceiving people.
The failure of Google’s quality filters is quite alarming here. They claim to deliver high-quality information but rank this deceptive site above excellent articles on Buddhist friendship and Wikipedia’s article on “kalyāṇa mittatā” (spiritual friendship).
Let’s move on to some authentic quotes from early Buddhist texts on friendship, with some context provided.
In the Upaḍḍhasutta (SN 45.2), the Buddha’s cousin and attendant, Ānanda, realizes the importance of friendship in the spiritual life, saying, “This is half of the holy life, that is, good friendship, good companionship, good comradeship.” The Buddha corrects him by saying, “This is the entire holy life.”
This shows that the Buddha valued the support of others for spiritual progress, recognizing that it is indispensable.
Sometimes people think the Buddha reached enlightenment alone, but he received spiritual instruction at home and had teachers and companions along the way. Through teaching, he may have further clarified his understanding of spiritual practices.
In the same conversation, the Buddha explained he is a spiritual friend to the entire world, helping beings free themselves from birth, aging, death, sorrow, lamentation, pain, displeasure, and despair.
One poetic verse from the Sigālovāda Sutta suggests: “Some are drinking buddies, some say ‘Dear friend!’ but a true friend stands by you in need.” This emphasizes distinguishing genuine friends from bad influences.
In the “Mitta Sutta,” the Buddha lists seven qualities to look for in a friend. Justin Whitaker points out that the Buddha does not require a friend to be wise or a great meditator, just someone with integrity and mutual respect.
To another householder, Sigālaka, the Buddha provides advice on recognizing good-hearted friends and fake ones while stressing the importance of appreciating true friends.
There’s also advice to Dīghajāṇu the Koliyan on good friendship, emphasizing emulating the virtues of wise and virtuous people.
In a quote from the Itivuttika, the Buddha notes that spiritual friendship is the most critical external factor for a practitioner’s progress toward enlightenment.
To his friend, King Pasenadi of Kosala, the Buddha explained the importance of spiritual friends for living a diligent and skillful life.
Friendship prevents slipping away from practice. It involves constructive criticism, given lovingly and truthfully.
The Dhammapada contrasts the benefits of spiritual friendship with the dangers of being led astray by “low” friends.
In a story about his attendant Meghiya, who abandoned him for a beautiful mango grove only to be distracted in meditation, the Buddha teaches that good friendship supports spiritual growth all the way to enlightenment.
Authentic quotes from Buddhist scriptures on friendship illustrate that genuine friends exemplify ethical qualities and help us avoid bad actions.
If you have access to real teachings, avoid fake ones that might feel good but mislead you, like Meghiya who chose superficial attraction over meaningful support.