Someone recently reached out to me about feeling a constant sense of anxiety in their solar plexus, and I can relate. I often experience this too, although it doesn’t dominate my life or prevent me from being happy; it’s just a part of my existence. I’ve realized that trying to “fix” or eliminate this anxiety is futile and counterproductive. Instead, I’ve learned to live with it, and the best approach is to embrace it with love.
However, to love this anxiety, you first need to recognize it. This awareness can be uncomfortable but is essential for responding skillfully. Many of us carry this kind of anxiety without even realizing it, yet it influences our actions, like turning on the TV to avoid the discomfort of being alone or snapping at a partner out of fear they might not care about us.
The good news is that we can find peace even while experiencing anxiety. Chronic low-grade anxiety doesn’t have to affect our well-being significantly. Through mindful practice, we can view anxiety as just a sensation rather than a threat. This process takes practice but is achievable. Start by observing minor anxieties, dropping the associated thoughts, and focusing on the sensation itself—its texture, location, and how it changes moment by moment. Gradually, anxiety becomes less charged and more like any other sensation.
Then we come to the act of loving the anxiety. This doesn’t come naturally; it’s something we need to learn. Anxiety is designed to make us aware of potential threats, causing us to view it as unpleasant and something to avoid. However, we can shift our perspective and see anxiety not as an enemy but as a signal from a part of us that is suffering, much like a scared child or pet. Can we offer it reassurance? Can we love it?
Treat your anxiety in a compassionate and parental way: acknowledge it, offer it words of love and care, place a comforting hand where it feels most intense, and look at it with kindness. By doing this, we can soothe the anxious part of ourselves.
Perhaps one day this persistent anxiety will fade. I hope the part of me that is afraid learns to feel secure and unafraid. Until then, I’ll continue to offer it love and compassion.
If saying “I’m sorry you’re suffering. I just want you to know that I love you and care about you” feels insincere, ask yourself if you’d prefer a life of constant suffering or one of peace. Which is more appealing to you?
Dropping the thoughts that accompany anxiety can be challenging, but it becomes easier with practice. Realize you’re thinking, acknowledge the thought, let it go, and refocus on your body. It’s like noticing you’re walking too fast and deciding to slow down. You’re not eliminating thoughts forever; they will return, but for a few moments, divert your mental energy from storytelling to body sensations.
Understandably, thoughts can be overwhelming, but if you take them less seriously, it helps. Recognize that an inner storyteller generates these thoughts and dramas—they’re not factual truths but stories you can choose to believe or not.
To practice questioning your thoughts, ask: Is this thought true? Is it helpful? Does it express kindness? By questioning your thoughts, you start to break the habit of automatically believing them. At first, do this after a thought appears, then as it appears, and eventually before it even arises.
Self-compassion is a constant journey. Being kinder and less judgmental towards yourself makes it easier. Understanding that we can’t simultaneously be lost in thought and fully present in our body is an incredible revelation. Use this to your advantage; focus on body sensations to break free from overwhelming thoughts.
I hope this perspective brings you some comfort. Embracing self-compassion and gentleness in handling our anxieties can profoundly impact our well-being.