Sometimes, you just feel lousy. Recently, I had one of those days where everything felt particularly bad. While I have a clue about the cause, the real issue was my sadness, tiredness, and occasional despair.
The last thing I wanted to do was meditate and face my feelings, but I knew that was precisely what I needed. So, I sat on my meditation bench, hoping to find a better way to deal with feeling terrible.
As I began meditating, I noticed a heavy, dark sensation around my heart and an underlying resistance to experiencing these emotions. Despite not wanting to feel this way, I knew it was important to let these feelings in. I tried to release the resistance and turned my focus toward the darkness.
During meditation, my practice seemed to take on a life of its own. I never know what might come up, but on this day, a comforting mantra surfaced. I told myself, “It’s OK. This is just how you’re feeling right now.” I kept repeating this while breathing in and out.
This mantra offered reassurance. It conveyed that it’s okay to feel this way and to turn toward the discomfort. It reminded me that feelings are just sensations, like touching something warm or feeling pain from a thorn. If you don’t get what you want, you’ll feel disappointed; if you’re criticized, you’ll feel hurt. This isn’t a failure, just a natural response.
It’s also a reminder that resisting pain doesn’t help and often makes it worse, like responding to a stone in your shoe by hitting your foot with a hammer. Sometimes, half of your pain is due to resistance; other times, it’s almost all of it. You only find out by letting go of that resistance. Accepting how you feel allows you to face the discomfort, which becomes more manageable without the added burden of resistance.
Feelings change. Remember past moments of heartbreak or worry? Those feelings are gone, even if similar ones have replaced them. Nothing lasts forever.
During my meditation, as I kept repeating the mantra, my heavy feeling began to lift. It didn’t disappear entirely, but it became manageable. I realized I didn’t need to resist; I could fully experience my feelings without being overwhelmed.
Recently, I guided some friends through this same meditation. One of them was feeling really down, so we placed our hands on our hearts and spoke kindly to our suffering. We reassured ourselves, saying, “I care about you, I’m here for you, and it’s OK. We’ll get through this.”
One friend felt better afterward, which made me happy. The other friend humorously suggested calling it the “feeling crap meditation,” and here we are.
Meditation like this, where you turn toward pain, is incredibly effective. Once you’ve experienced how it helps dissipate sadness or despair, it becomes a go-to method for handling tough times. I don’t let additional woes pile on because now I know I have the tools to cope.
Next time you’re feeling down, remember it’s okay to sit with that feeling and give it space. Acknowledge it, and remind yourself that it will pass. This simple practice can change how you handle those tough moments.