Embrace Your Pain (The Social Media Sutra, Part 4)

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Embrace Your Pain (The Social Media Sutra, Part 4)

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Embrace Your Pain (The Social Media Sutra, Part 4)

In a series of six posts, I’m explaining how teachings from early Buddhist scriptures can help us free ourselves from social media addiction. These teachings are found in the Vitakkasanthana Sutta, which outlines five strategies for overcoming compelling urges. I’m calling it “the Social Media Sutra.”

“Thinking” in this context refers not just to our internal dialogue but also to the emotional urges that come with it. So, the urge to constantly check social media or surf the internet is a kind of thinking.

The first tool is to focus on something positive in our experience. The second is to understand the drawbacks of our negative behaviors. The third is to learn how to reduce temptation. Now, let’s look at the fourth tool from the Vitakkasanthana Sutta to see how it can help with social media addiction.

The fourth tool involves “stopping the formation of thoughts.” This might sound challenging, but it essentially means finding a way to slow down or stop our persistent thoughts and urges.

The Sutta explains that if other methods haven’t worked, and if negative thoughts connected with desire, hate, and delusion keep arising, the practitioner should focus on stopping these thoughts. As this happens, the negative thoughts end, and the mind becomes calm and unified.

An analogy is given: Imagine someone walking quickly, who then thinks to slow down. They might go from walking quickly to walking slowly, then to standing still, then to sitting down, and finally to lying down. Each step becomes more restful. Similarly, by recognizing what drives our compulsive online behavior and letting go of it, we can slow down and eventually stop.

When our mind feels the urge to stay engaged in compulsive online activity, something is driving this urge. By examining what drives our actions, we can let the mind rest. Often, there’s a sense of anxiety, which might feel like a tight, prickly sensation in the gut. One part of our brain creates this unpleasant sensation because it perceives boredom or missing out as threats. Then, other parts of the brain react to this feeling, creating impulses and thoughts like, “Just one more article.”

Recognizing these feelings and impulses is crucial. The Buddha said everything converges on feeling because of their pivotal role in our experience. In this context, the unpleasant feeling is what’s driving our behavior. By becoming mindful of this feeling, we realize we don’t have to react to it. Instead, we can observe it, recognize it as a part of us that is suffering, and show compassion to that part.

This mindful self-compassion creates a gap in which we can find a kinder, wiser way to act. For internet addiction, this feeling varies and could be boredom, hollowness, or anxiety. Whatever the feeling, we can train ourselves to turn toward it with kindness and compassion. This helps us move from a reactive state to a more mindful and wise response.

When I realize I’m stuck on my computer, I use this approach. I notice the unpleasant feelings, usually in my gut, and become mindful of them. I recognize these feelings as just sensations created by a part of my brain trying to protect me from perceived threats. By observing them mindfully, I don’t need to act on them. I can offer kindness and compassion to the part of me that is suffering. I might touch my belly and say, “May you be well. May you be happy. May you be at peace.”

Acting out our addiction to social media or the internet is driven by a desire to escape emotional pain. To free ourselves from this addictive urge, we need to turn our attention to our pain and embrace it with mindfulness and compassion. When we do this, the emotional connection with the internet weakens, and we can choose more wholesome activities instead of mindlessly scrolling.

That’s the fourth tool: stopping the formation of unskillful urges. By identifying the feelings driving our thoughts and urges, we can respond differently, freeing ourselves from the compulsion to engage with social media.

So, what have we learned today?