Lately, I’ve been feeling that my life has become way too complicated and often overwhelming. Moving houses took weeks of planning and packing, followed by the exhausting task of unpacking and setting everything up. My partner and I moved in together, adding another layer of adjustments as our relationship evolves. My kids now go to two different schools in separate towns, so I end up spending more than two hours a day driving them around. On top of that, I committed to doing four video talks for Tricycle magazine, which was an enormous amount of work. Shortly after moving, we adopted an abandoned puppy, bringing new challenges like vet visits and replacing the phone and laptop cables she chewed up.
All this has left my mind in a constant state of anxiety, worrying about forgetting something important like school runs or fitting in time to write articles, record meditations, and help with tech support for online course participants. There’s always some new complication popping up.
Amid these challenges, my meditation practice has been a real relief. It doesn’t magically solve all my problems or make my reactions disappear. Instead, meditation helps me work through everything going on in my head and body. Thoughts about work, family schedules, or communication issues come up during meditation. I notice them, let them go, and return my focus to my body and breathing. Sometimes, I experience brief moments of not thinking, even if it’s only for a few breaths.
Meditation makes me aware of my body’s tension, giving me the chance to relax even a little bit. I also notice sensations of anxiety. While they’re unpleasant, I try to be present with them without reacting, creating a sense of space around them.
So, I let go of thoughts, accept uncomfortable feelings, and notice and relax body tensions. These actions help a lot. I find it important to observe how the texture of my experience changes when I let go of thoughts, accept feelings, and soften my body. The texture shifts from feeling rough and tight to more harmonious and at ease. The shift isn’t always huge, but it’s real, moving me from suffering to a greater sense of well-being.
The experience of having many thoughts, feeling stressed, or being tense has an unpleasant texture. In contrast, calmness, accepting an unpleasant feeling, and a softening body have a more pleasant and easeful texture. Noticing these texture changes helps keep us anchored in calmness and ease, preventing us from getting pulled back into stress and distractions. I suggest you really notice and appreciate the pleasant and easeful nature of letting go.
If you don’t notice and appreciate these changes, your mind is likely to revert to busyness, conflicted feelings, and physical tension. You need an anchor. These changes, though often small, matter. Letting go of a stressful thought might bring just a few seconds of relative calm before another stress-filled thought arises. But if you pay attention to those few seconds, you’ll find them more pleasant and easeful than your previous thoughts, encouraging you to stay in that state.
With a bit of practice, you’ll also notice that compulsive thinking is unpleasant even when you’re in the middle of it. This realization helps you let go. It’s natural to want to stop doing something that makes you miserable.
Of course, as you practice this, you might start grasping for pleasure, wanting to hold on to those few moments of calm. That’s not helpful. But as you get into the habit of noticing the texture of your experiences, you’ll recognize that grasping is just another unpleasant mental habit. You’ll become more inclined to let go and accept whatever is happening.
Appreciation acts as an anchor. Remember to use it.