These days, mindfulness seems to be everywhere, but it’s often not well explained. To me, mindfulness is mainly about self-observation. When we’re not practicing mindfulness, we aren’t observing ourselves. We might be going through the motions—thinking, feeling, talking, and acting—but there’s no inner observer checking in. Without this self-checking, we can’t recognize when certain thoughts or actions are causing us or others harm. Essentially, we become a bundle of instincts and habits. These can be useful, like driving a car on autopilot or reading a book without really paying attention.
The crux of mindfulness centers on our suffering, or more broadly, the quality of our experiences. Without self-observation, nothing prevents us from making ourselves feel bad—from minor annoyances to deep unhappiness. However, when we practice self-observation, we start to notice how certain thoughts and actions affect us. We can then make changes. For example, we might see that a particular thought makes us anxious or angry, realize it’s not even true, and decide to let it go.
Mindfulness offers us two kinds of freedom: freedom from and freedom to. “Freedom from” means liberating ourselves from the hold of habits and instincts, and thus from the suffering they cause. These habits and instincts don’t disappear, but with mindfulness, they’re less likely to dominate us. Instead, they become mere thoughts and desires that we can choose not to act on.
This shift is transformative. We gain not only freedom from unhelpful ways of being but also the freedom to choose different ways of being. We can decide to be kinder, for instance. Simply remembering that kindness is an option makes us more likely to choose it. If we recall what it feels like to be kind, those feelings are more likely to come up. Being free from angry thoughts also makes room for more empathetic and loving thoughts.
This applies not only to kindness but also to patience, curiosity, courage, acceptance, appreciation, and other positive qualities. With mindfulness, we can choose to be different. We gain the freedom to stop causing ourselves and others suffering through thoughtless habits and instead cultivate helpful habits that enhance our lives and positively affect those around us. Mindfulness gives us both the freedom from negative patterns and the freedom to develop positive ones.