Hatred isn’t overcome by more hatred, but by love and understanding. In the weeks leading up to the US presidential election, I experienced a whirlwind of emotions. As a “Resident Alien,” I couldn’t vote, but like many others, I had strong feelings about the outcome that would impact my life significantly.
Now that the election is over, it’s clear things didn’t go as I’d hoped. The idea of Donald Trump being elected seemed impossible. Despite previous poll inaccuracies, the widespread belief that he was unfit for the presidency, coupled with his alienating nature, made his victory seem unlikely.
But uncertainties lingered, making me anxious. When it became clear that Clinton was losing, a strange calm settled over me. What’s done is done.
Waking up to Trump’s victory, I noticed a range of reactions from non-supporters. Some were stunned, others angry or worried, and some felt ashamed of their country. The reality is, we’re soon going to have a president who promotes hatred and callousness, has mocked a disabled reporter, boasted about sexual assault, defrauded contractors, and faces fraud and child rape charges. His attitude toward various groups, including Muslim-Americans and undocumented migrants, is disturbing.
He may disrupt the economy, dismantle health insurance for millions, incite trade wars, and dismiss global warming. However, it’s the atmosphere of hatred that’s most troubling to me.
So, how should we react?
First, understand that not much has changed yet. Though global markets are jittery, our daily lives remain largely unchanged. It’s the fear of potential future events that causes the most distress. Our minds often become our worst enemies. Take a deep breath, acknowledge your blessings, and let go of the catastrophic thinking. We don’t know what the future holds. Trump might not fulfill all his promises or even complete his term due to his pending trials.
Right now, what’s truly different? In all likelihood, very little.
Feeling scared is natural. I felt anxiety this morning too. Be kind to yourself; extend the same compassion you would to a dear friend. We all need a source of unconditional love and support, and we can be that source for ourselves.
Second, remember that politics is a marathon, not a sprint. This may be a tough period, perhaps lasting for a generation. Some freedoms might be rolled back, but demographic changes suggest a trend toward greater diversity and interconnectedness. Despite the current climate, the world is becoming more tolerant and less violent.
Third, show kindness and compassion to those around you. This morning, my girlfriend and I shared a loving conversation before her class started, which brought us joy. Even though challenging times might be ahead, we don’t need to make ourselves miserable. Let’s support one another.
Fourth, empathize with those you disagree with. When facing a president-elect spreading hatred, responding with more hatred won’t help. Viewing Trump’s supporters with contempt won’t solve anything. Many who voted for him did so out of desperation. Hatred often stems from fear. Trump’s voters, often financially insecure and poorly educated, are largely white and feel left out and threatened by a changing world. Their economic vulnerabilities and racial anxieties haven’t been sufficiently addressed by previous leaders, leading them to seek change, even from a flawed messenger like Trump.
These individuals need compassion, not contempt. Even Trump’s most extreme supporters, such as White Supremacists, react out of fear. They fear the loss of centuries-old white privilege and struggle to see the benefits of a diverse society. Their hatred is rooted in fear, which is a form of suffering.
If we see an increase in hateful acts, it’ll mostly be on a local level. Already, minority children are facing more bullying. My own African-American children are frightened about being separated from their white parents as racial divisions seem to resurface.
When hatred happens locally, we can counter it with love. Stern love, if necessary, but love nonetheless. Responding to hatred with hate only creates more animosity. We need empathetic responses. When we see bias, remember that fear drives us to act out sometimes too. Empathize first, then act by reminding others that we’re all in this together. Living in conflict doesn’t help anyone thrive.
We all experience suffering and need liberation from it. Unfortunately, our efforts to cope often create more pain.
The world seems chaotic with prevalent hatred, misogyny, and racism, but these are misguided attempts to deal with fear. Beneath these negative responses are suffering hearts that need guidance toward better ways of living. By modeling love, compassion, and wisdom, we can educate and help heal our society.