Recently, I Googled “Buddha quotes on friendship” and was shocked to find that the top result was full of completely fake quotes. These were either misattributed to the Buddha or outright made up to sound good, complete with Buddha images stamped on them.
I won’t link to the misleading site, but here’s a sample of the falsehoods they’re pushing as authentic Buddhist scripture. Surprisingly, none of these quotes, nor any others on that site, are real. They have nothing to do with the Buddha and are entirely fabricated. It’s likely this deceit is to drive ad revenue, though it’s possible the creator also finds joy in misleading people.
What’s most startling is Google’s failure in quality control. They claim to deliver high-quality information, yet this garbage ranks first. It overshadows many excellent articles on Buddhist friendship, including one by Norman Fisher and another by Justin Whitaker, as well as Wikipedia’s article on spiritual friendship (kalyāṇa mittatā).
Here are some genuine quotes from early Buddhist texts on friendship, with added context:
From a passage in the Upaḍḍhasutta (SN 45.2), the Buddha’s cousin and attendant, Ānanda, highlights the importance of friendship in the spiritual life. Ānanda told the Buddha that he believed good friendship is half of the holy life. The Buddha corrected him, stating that good friendship, companionship, and comradeship embody the entire holy life.
The Buddha stressed that spiritual progress relies heavily on the support of good friends. While enlightenment is often seen as a solo pursuit, the Buddha himself benefited greatly from teachers and companions before reaching enlightenment. Even teaching others helped him refine his spiritual understanding.
The Buddha declared himself a spiritual friend to the entire world, asserting that relying on him could free beings from suffering and lead them towards enlightenment. This idea underscores the importance of good friendship in spiritual practice.
In the Sigālovāda Sutta, the Buddha advises avoiding bad influences and cherishing true friends, those who stand by you in need. Additionally, he lists several qualities to seek in a good-hearted friend and warns against those who seek to exploit you for money or lead you into harmful activities.
In the Mitta Sutta, the Buddha enumerates seven qualities to look for in a friend, which is insightful for both monks and laypeople. He emphasizes the importance of associating with people who embody ethical qualities and who offer constructive criticism.
Sometimes, people wrongly believe enlightenment is a solely individual achievement, ignoring the support system that is crucial. The Buddha himself benefited from various spiritual guides and companions. He also pointed out that spiritual friendship is an essential external factor in a practitioner’s life, preventing them from straying from their path.
Lastly, the story of the Buddha’s attendant Meghiya serves as a cautionary tale. Meghiya left the Buddha to meditate alone but faced many distractions instead of enlightenment. The Buddha then taught that having good friends, companions, and associates is crucial for spiritual progress.
These genuine quotes from the Buddha stress the irreplaceable value of friendship in spiritual life. Unfortunately, fake quotes mislead and misrepresent the true teachings. Hence, avoiding these falsehoods is as important as embracing the real teachings.