When we first start meditating, we often notice that our mind wanders much more than we expected. We might realize that we can’t get through more than two or three breaths before our mind latches onto a thought and takes us on a journey through our memories, fantasies, and expectations about the future.
Initially, this can be frustrating. We might get annoyed with ourselves for being so easily distracted, or even start to think that we’re not good at meditation or that others are much better at it. Meditation may start to feel like hard work.
However, over time, we learn that this level of distraction is normal. Research indicates that during activities that don’t demand much attention (like showering, waiting for an appointment, or driving a familiar route), we get distracted about 80% of the time. Meditation falls into this category since it doesn’t require us to focus on an external task.
Our distractibility isn’t a personal flaw; it’s just how our nervous system evolved. The mind craves input and, in the absence of external stimuli, it generates its own through memories, fantasies, etc.
As we continue meditating, we learn to be more patient. When we realize our mind has wandered, we simply let go of the distracted thoughts without reacting strongly. Distraction becomes just a neutral event that we don’t see as negative.
But there’s more we can do. Even though we might stop reacting emotionally to our distractions, we might still carry a sense that our minds aren’t “good enough” because they wander. We don’t choose to get lost in thought; it just happens, and we might feel uncomfortable with a mind that has a mind of its own.
Here’s the reassuring part: Every time our mind wanders, it finds its way back to mindfulness on its own. We don’t ask our minds to return to awareness — it just happens. One moment we’re lost in a daydream, then suddenly, we’re back to being mindful, aware that we’re sitting on our meditation cushion, and able to choose our focus and attitude.
Our attention naturally returns to mindfulness repeatedly, without us having to force it. This is encouraging because it shows that our mind knows how to come back home. Instead of focusing on the mind’s wandering as a failure, we can celebrate its automatic return to mindfulness.
Think of the mind like a cat. It likes to explore, but it also likes to come home. How do you welcome it back? Instead of getting annoyed, try to warmly welcome your mind when it returns from its wanderings. Treat its return as a positive event. Show it affection and let it know it’s valued. Your mind may start to feel more at home and stick around more, making meditation feel less like hard work and more like an act of love.