Sometimes, we all feel a bit down. The other week, I felt particularly low, and although I have an idea why, that’s not really what matters. What’s important is that I was feeling sad, tired, and even a bit despairing. The last thing I wanted to do was sit in meditation and confront those feelings, but I knew from past experiences that it’s the most helpful thing I could do. So, I sat on my meditation bench to find a better way to handle feeling this way.
As I settled into meditation, I noticed a dark, heavy sensation around my heart and realized I was resisting the feeling because I didn’t want to experience it. But it’s crucial to allow these feelings into our experience, so I tried to let go of the resistance and face the darkness. My meditation practice often takes on a life of its own, and I never really know what will happen. On this day, as I let go and focused on the discomfort, a kind of mantra emerged.
I began telling myself, “It’s OK. This is just how you’re feeling right now.” I repeated this to myself, breathing in and out. These words reassured me, conveying that it’s okay to feel this way and to face the feeling. It reminded me that there is nothing to fear and that it’s alright to continue. Feelings, just like physical sensations, are natural responses to our experiences.
Resisting pain doesn’t help and often makes it worse, much like hitting your foot with a hammer because a stone is inside your shoe. Surprisingly, a significant portion of our pain often comes from resisting it, sometimes up to 95%. The way to discover this is by letting go of the resistance.
By accepting “this is just how you’re feeling,” you start treating your feelings as facts instead of something to avoid. As you drop the resistance and experience the remaining discomfort, it becomes more bearable. Feelings change over time. Remember when you felt awful after a breakup or worried about money? Those feelings eventually passed, even if they were replaced by new ones.
During my meditation, I sat with my feelings of being down, and as I repeated my mantra, the feeling lifted a bit. It didn’t disappear completely, but that was okay. I realized it was manageable and that I didn’t need to resist it anymore. I could fully experience it without being overwhelmed.
Recently, I guided a couple of friends through the same meditation because one of them was feeling particularly low. We placed our hands over our hearts and spoke kindly to our suffering, offering reassurance and support. My friend felt better afterward, which made me happier as well. The other friend suggested I call this my “feeling crap meditation,” and so here we are.
I find that meditating in this way can be very effective. By turning toward pain and sadness instead of resisting, you learn to handle the tough times better. I don’t add additional distress because I feel I have the tools to cope with it.
Thanks for reminding me to take the time to sit and breathe, even when I’m busy and tempted to avoid my feelings. This meditation couldn’t be more timely, especially as the days get shorter and the likelihood of feeling down increases. Your simplified approach to practice is both effective and heartwarming. Thank you for everything.