This content is from one of the emails included in our online course, How to Stop Beating Yourself Up: Learning the Art of Self-Compassion.
Self-compassion means treating ourselves with the same kindness, respect, and gentleness that we show to our loved ones. There are four key components of self-compassion.
The first is mindfulness, which is the skill of observing our experiences without being overly involved in them. This means taking a step back from our thoughts, feelings, and sensations, and viewing them as separate from our identity.
Next, there’s equanimity. This involves accepting challenging experiences instead of denying them, ignoring them, or becoming obsessed with them.
Self-kindness is also crucial. It means treating ourselves with gentleness, understanding, and compassion. It’s about acknowledging that we’re emotional beings who seek happiness and well-being, which can only be achieved when we treat ourselves kindly.
Finally, we need to put our suffering into perspective. This involves recognizing that everyone is going through the same human experiences. We all strive for happiness and often find it hard to achieve, encountering suffering repeatedly. Without this perspective, we might feel that our struggles are signs of personal failure. A wiser perspective allows us to avoid self-judgment and can even foster compassion for others as well as ourselves.
These four components—mindfulness, equanimity, self-kindness, and perspective—work together to create self-compassion. They aren’t completely separate; instead, they reflect different aspects of each other. For instance, mindfulness, equanimity, and perspective are all ways of expressing self-kindness. When we’re kind to ourselves, we naturally practice these qualities.
Throughout our course, these four qualities are integrated into all the writings and guided meditations. Different aspects may be highlighted at various times. For example, our first meditation, the “kindfulness of breathing” from yesterday’s email, mainly combines mindfulness, equanimity, and kindness.
This course content is thoughtfully crafted and beneficial, at least from my perspective. Thank you for engaging with it.